The Mission of a Good Dad
What makes a good father in today’s busy world? Being a dad means more than providing financially—it’s about being present in the moments that truly matter. Many of us grew up with hardworking fathers who missed opportunities to fully engage in our daily lives, and we now find ourselves wanting more for our own children.
Aaron Hebbard, a former CC dad, understands this struggle personally. Though his father loved his children deeply, his demanding schedule meant he witnessed his children’s lives more than participated in them. It wasn’t until becoming a homeschool dad that Aaron discovered the profound impact of being fully present.
Whether you’re a homeschool dad looking to deepen your involvement or simply seeking to be more intentional with your family time, read on to learn how small, consistent choices to engage, learn, and grow alongside your children can make all the difference.
Provide for Your Family: A Core Responsibility of a Godly Father
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8 (NIV)
As fathers, we tend to spend most of our day working. We do so in order to provide food, clothing, and shelter for our loved ones. Of course, there are some exceptions. For example, some men work from home, while others are unable to work due to health. Still, others find themselves stay-at-home dads while the mother works out of the home.
However, in general, the father of a homeschooling family works outside of the home while the mother takes care of the home and educates their children. Fathers can become complacent in this arrangement. They go to work for eight to ten hours a day and find that Mother does a superb job of caring for the home and raising up godly children. That mothers do this is to be commended and celebrated. Indeed, it is not my intention to undo or change this. Rather, it is my intention to call fathers to a deeper awareness of the awesomeness of this task and to call attention to their part in it.
Children love their parents; this is not to be denied. Children learn from their parents; this, too, is not denied. Children learn more from their parents’ actions than they do from their words; this is fearful.
Lead by Example: Children Learn from What We Do
“In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned.” Titus 2:7-8 (NIV)
I grew up in a home with a father who loved his wife and children. He worked very hard to provide for his family. In fact, as a truck driver, he was gone Monday morning through Saturday morning driving a truck, only to return home for shortened weekends. When he was home, he was tired and preferred to spend his brief time home relaxing and enjoying a sports match on the television.
He didn’t ignore us; He would have conversations with us as the weekend passed. However, he didn’t “live” life with us. He didn’t learn with us. He didn’t experience the world with us. He wasn’t a bad father by any means, but in watching him, I learned that providing for my family meant that I needed to work hard to earn money and then use that money to provide. It didn’t require much more than that. For a long time, that is how I lived my adult life.
A year and a half ago, my father passed away from brain cancer. Reflecting on my father during his last days on this earth and then again afterward, I realized how much he loved us and how hard he worked as a result of that love. I cannot find fault in how much he loved us. The sad thing is, I’m not sure he knew to do anything more than that.
Because they love us, children can be very forgiving of our faults, and this is a mercy God shows us. But, if we have it in our ability and power to love and raise them wholly and completely, should we not do so?
What does this look like? If it is more than just food on the table, clothes on the back, and a roof over the head, what is it? It is what I alluded to above; it is the living, learning, and experiencing of life and God’s world with them.
Balancing Work and Family: Practical Tips for Busy Fathers
“He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents…” Malachi 4:6 (NIV)
For the working father, finding balance can be challenging. Here are some practical ways to be more present:
- Create sacred family times – Establish certain meals, evenings, or weekend times that are protected from work interruptions
- Leverage technology wisely – Use flexible work arrangements when possible to be physically present for important moments
- Involve children in your world – Let your children understand and be a part of your job, your hobbies, and your spiritual life
- Practice active listening – When with your children, put away distractions and fully engage
Being a father is a holy calling. If you’re seeking how to be a good father or how to be a better dad, start by being present. A good dad isn’t perfect—but he is purposeful.
Explore God’s Creation Together
“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” Psalm 19:1 (NIV)
My family has a friend who might be called an amateur astronomer. She loves to go out at night to locate and identify the stars and constellations. Recently, she came over to our home and showed us how to do the same. (This is a perfect activity for Challenge B students studying astronomers!)
Because we live in a rural part of North Carolina, the night sky is very dark, the innumerable stars are bright and plentiful. I am able to go out with my children on a clear night and enjoy the stars with them. Together, we can identify the North Star, the two Dippers, Orion’s Belt, and various other stars. We are now able to locate and identify these stars and constellations together—allowing us to learn about and be awed by God’s handiwork as a family.
Read about How to Celebrate a Family Culture of Learning.
Teach Hospitality and Love Through Play
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Practice hospitality.” Romans 12:10, 13a (NIV)
My daughter is growing past the stage of imaginary tea parties. But there was a time, not too long ago, that she would invite Daddy to her bedroom for some tea. I would enter the room to find a small cardboard box covered with a pillowcase, plastic toy dishware, a toy teapot filled with water, and bite-sized chocolate bars. That is what I saw with my eyes.
When I looked into the same room with her eyes, I saw a magnificent table spread with the most beautiful tea set and a mouth-watering afternoon snack accompanied by an extravagant and exotic tea. And all of this was prepared and set before me by the most beautiful princess-host any guest has ever laid eyes on. I would take my seat and enjoy the hospitality my wonderful daughter was showing to me.
I hope that my daughter will continue to grow into a godly young lady who is affectionate to the saints of God and hospitable towards them. More importantly, I hope that she is more so because she was able to practice with her daddy and see how much joy he received from her service of love.
What’s more, having read a book like Protocol Matters by Sandra Boswell, I wish I could have those tea parties again and be a proper guest, following the polite manners we wish to see in a host and in guests. A tea party with Daddy is the perfect opportunity to pass that knowledge on.
From tea parties to Challenge II Protocol, practicing proper etiquette is a blessing.
Foster a Love for Learning: Nurturing the Mind and Spirit
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37 (NIV)
A friend once stopped by my home to pick up some things he was planning to borrow. Upon leaving, he noticed my three children (at the time ages 13, 10, and 8) seated on our sofa, each reading a book. He playfully joked that they were bookworms and left. He was right; they are bookworms—but this is not a bad thing.
They are bookworms, however, not because we don’t own a television (we own two); nor is it because we don’t own game consoles (we own two), nor is it because we force them to read in order to earn television or game time (we don’t).
It is because, at least partly, they want to be like mom and dad. Mom reads to them throughout the day, and Dad reads to them or with them in the evenings. Not a week goes without several evenings spent together with me reading a book to them or sitting beside them reading my own book while they read theirs. Furthermore, our home is filled with books. I do not know how many, but I could guess it numbers around 1,000. Our children will grow up wanting to love God with all of their minds because they grew up with a mom and dad who love God with all of their minds.
Live, Learn, and Serve Together as a Family
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)
You don’t have to have an elaborate plan to spiritually shepherd your children’s hearts in meaningful ways. Here are 4 simple ideas, dads, you can start this week to strengthen your family relationship:
- Cook a meal together and bring it to a neighbor
- Memorize a Bible verse as a family
- Pray out loud for others as a team
- Build something in the garage while talking about God
Celebrate how Dads are Lead Learners, Too!
Invite Them into Everyday Discipleship
“One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.” Psalm 145:4 (NIV)
These are just a few random examples of how we fathers can live, learn, and experience life and God’s creation with our families. No two dads have to do it exactly alike, but every dad should do it.
Go online or grab a book, and look up the names of the trees and plants in your neighborhood. Then, take the kids on an after-dinner hike and teach them to name them. Or, volunteer at a soup kitchen with them and teach them to give a cup of cold water to the poor (Mt 10:42).
Whatever you do, no matter how simple or how daring, dare to live, learn, and experience life with your little ones. This intentionality creates a foundation of security, identity, and faith that shapes generations to come. By embracing our call to be fully present fathers, we follow the ultimate example of our Heavenly Father, who is ever-present, engaging, and invested in relationship with His children.
