How can you raise your children to become responsible, independent adults? This may be your aim, but how do you actually do that? As a homeschool mom, I have more opportunities and therefore responsibilities as I prepare for that launch point. Perhaps you feel that same weight.
I recently sat down with my friend and colleague, Quinton Cools, who serves as VP of Operations at TeenPact. As we talked, I realized that launching our sons successfully into adulthood began long before high school graduation. Several practices stood out to me as foundational in preparing children for wise, productive, independent adulthood, and Quin added a rich perspective as a homeschool graduate and homeschooling father himself!
Welcome into this exciting journey. Here are 6 Keys to Prepare for Adulthood.
6 Keys to Prepare for Adulthood
1. Pray For Wisdom–Constantly
Prayer has always been a cornerstone of our parenting, not just as a routine, but as a heartfelt plea for wisdom. My husband, Brent, and I often pray, “Lord I don’t know how to do this! Please help!” Every major decision—from education choices to extracurriculars—starts with prayer.
Prayer has always been our lifeline as we guided our three sons and continue to homeschool our daughter. Quin, who is now seeking to apply these same principles with his own children, echoed how his parents approached prayer in a similar way: “My parents were always intentional in praying for wisdom. They guided me but also gave me the space to make my own choices, knowing they were constantly praying for God’s direction.”
2. Build Strong, Respectful Relationships
We knew early on that building strong relationships with our kids was key. It wasn’t about controlling them, but creating an environment where they felt safe coming to us for advice. This desire to have a strong relationship with our kids is one of the main reasons we chose to homeschool and why we stayed involved in their activities—we wanted to share experiences, build trust, and have common memories.
Our goal was to cultivate relationships with our kids that would carry into adulthood. Today, our grown sons still seek our counsel and we strive to foster a similar relationship with our daughter. Quin said that was his experience, as well: “My parents were intentional about getting involved in my life—not in a way that controlled me, but in a way that showed they cared. It helped me trust them.”
3. Provide Practice in Making Wise Decisions from a Young Age
We realized that a big part of preparing children for adulthood is allowing them to make decisions early on. For us, it was important that our sons learned to think critically and make their own choices. When they questioned our judgment, we encouraged them to think things through and weigh the options. This skill has been invaluable to our two sons who are in law school, as well as our son in undergraduate school.
“My parents also didn’t hover over every choice I made,” Quin remembers, “but they helped me see the potential outcomes. That gave me the freedom to make decisions and the responsibility to handle the consequences.” Now, as he raises his own children with his wife, Kelsey, Quin plans to give his kids that same opportunity to learn from their choices.
4. Foster Open Communication and Mutual Respect
In our home, open communication is very important. We want our kids to feel comfortable expressing themselves and asking for advice. This idea has fostered an atmosphere of mutual respect, where our children can share their thoughts and opinions freely.
“Feeling heard made a big difference for me,” Quin told me. “My mom didn’t just offer advice—she listened. That made me more willing to talk to her about anything.” Quin’s now working to cultivate the same openness with his young children, laying the groundwork for strong communication as they grow.
5. Stay Connected and Involved
Even as our sons have become adults, we’ve stayed involved in their lives. We respect their independence, but want them to know we’re always here when they need us. Homeschooling, TeenPact, and other activities kept us In our kids’ lives and helped us develop a strong connection with them that has continued into adulthood.
Quin sees the value of staying connected without hovering: “As I gained more independence, my parents stayed connected. They offered advice and support but didn’t overstep. That balance helped me grow.” Now, as a parent, he’s seeking to apply the same wisdom with his own kids, ensuring they feel supported as they develop independence.
6. Invest in Lifelong Relationships
Launching a child into adulthood takes time, patience, and grace. Looking back, I see that the relationships Brent and I invested in with our sons are still bearing fruit today. The time, energy, and love we poured into them have led to strong relationships, which continue as they pursue their goals and build their own futures.
“The relationship I’ve built with my parents is lifelong,” Quin reflects. “They didn’t just raise me; they nurtured a mutual respect that has carried into adulthood.” As he and Kelsey parent their children, Quin seeks to build those same lasting relationships as they guide their family in all that Christ has commanded.
Launching Your Child is a Journey
This is an exciting journey, and you’re not alone. The Lord is faithful to help you as you seek to raise responsible, independent adults for their good and God’s glory!
Ready to equip your teen for adulthood? Explore TeenPact’s State Classes for CC families and help your child develop leadership skills, understand government, and grow in faith!
