A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps (Proverbs 16:9, KJV).
Homeschooling humbles me.
I am inconsistent. I am a perfectionist. I am selfish. I am distracted when I need to focus. I am focused when I need to be distracted. I have poor time management skills. And, boy, am I impatient!
For me, the hardest part of homeschooling is having the constant reminders of how inadequate I am. I come face-to-face with my failures every single day. I always feel as though I miss opportunities. At the close of each day, I am usually thinking, “I should have done this” or “I should not have done that.”
However, regardless of how humbling this thing is, I still absolutely love homeschooling our children. It keeps me focused on Who provides my strength, Who provides the inspiration, and Whom my children really belong to, after all.
The fact is, I have only a few short years with my children and then…I will no longer have the messes. I will no longer experience the struggles. I will no longer listen to petty arguments over who gets to play with which monster truck. I will no longer have the interruptions that take me away from what I want to do.
And I will no longer experience the blessings.
The sounds of silliness and laughter will fade into the past. The family visits to museums and monuments will be only a distant memory. I will no longer have the beauty and awe of discovering the world with these boys growing into young men.
That thought makes me want to seize every moment I can to pursue our love of life and passion for learning together. With them now.
This time of year I start to reflect upon the plan vs. reality of our school year, and it is seldom I feel like a superstar homeschooling mom. In fact, the glaring reality of my fallen nature is difficult to face.
I am a serious overplanner. I aim really high in everything I do. If I actually achieve everything I set out to do, then I know in my heart that I did not aim high enough. In fact, this overplanning obsession is one of my weaknesses (along with impatience and all my other not-so-great character qualities). Many of my plans and wishes are way higher than our real-life accomplishments. If we combine that with my crazy love of ideas and books and curriculum, does it come as any surprise that we are not quite where we planned to be as we approach the final stretch of this school year? And is that really failure, anyway?
I share this bit of honesty about our reality to encourage others that may be reflecting upon a year that has been less than expected. In spite of my self, it is awesome to see how God has prevailed over our learning—and our home—this year. My children have continued to blossom in the midst of interruptions and setbacks. They have learned and experienced so much more than what can be credited to me. It has been a marvelous year of discovery for us—not because of what I have done, but because of what He has done in our lives.
To God be the glory.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me (2 Corinthians 12:9, KJV).
