By no stretch of the imagination am I a theologian. With that warning out of the way, I would like to write about teaching children how to pray. I must also note, at this point, that I do not have children. That does not mean, however, that I am not preparing to be a good husband and father, and for that reason it is helpful for me to start thinking about these things now.
Let me begin with something all classical learners know: They use the classical tools of mimicking, copying, and then practicing with what a master has done in order to make it their own. So it only makes sense, when we are learning how to pray—and even more so when we are teaching our children how to pray—to go to the Lord’s Prayer, given to us by Christ himself, for our model.
Let us begin by looking at the text of the Lord’s Prayer, Matthew 6:9-15 (I included the final two verses because we often forget them and I think they are important for little ones to know):
9 “This, then, is how you should pray:
‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’
14For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Now, we will break down the prayer verse by verse, imagining this as a conversation between a father and his child:
Verse 9: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name…
Father: “How does this prayer begin?”
Child: “It begins by talking to God, our Father.”
Father: “Yes. And, this verse also begins by describing a quality, or attribute, of God. It tells us that His name is to be ‘hallowed.’ To be ‘hallowed’ is to be set apart from all the others, to be ‘holy.’ So this verse describes God as holy. God has many other attributes. For example, He is merciful. If we were praying for forgiveness, we could substitute ‘mercy’ for ‘hallowed.’ How would the prayer begin, if we followed that pattern?”
Child: “We would say: Our Father, who is in heaven, merciful is your name.”
Father: “Right. What are some other qualities of God?”
Child: “Well…God is just.”
Father: “Could you substitute ‘just’ for ‘hallowed’? How would that sound?”
Child: “Our Father, who is in heaven, justice is your name.”
Father: “Of course, this part of the prayer is primarily asking that God’s name be kept holy by all. But do you see how, depending upon our needs, we might change the prayer by substituting different attributes of God?”
Child: “Yes, I can see that.”
Verse 10: [Y]our kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Father: “What is this part of the prayer saying?”
Child: “It is praying for God’s will to be done.”
Father: “Yes. In this part of the prayer, we are humbling ourselves and acknowledging that the Lord is ruler of this world. God is sovereign, right? This means that He is ruler over all things, people, and events. Therefore, if we are asking the Lord to help a friend, we could say that person’s name instead of saying ‘earth.’ So, if you were praying for your friend, Steve, how would you pray? Where would you substitute his name?”
Child: “Your kingdom come, your will be done on Steve as it is in heaven.”
Father: “Yes, that’s right.”
Verse 11: Give us today our daily bread.
Father: “We know that Jesus would later break bread, during the first Lord’s Supper. So, there is more meaning in that phrase than we may normally think about. It is not just natural food that is being referred to here; it is the recollection that Jesus died for us on Calvary, and that He is the Bread of Life. Why is it important to remember that? What are some other things that Jesus does for us?”
Child: [Answers will vary here, but help the child remember that Jesus gives us salvation and help him think about other things that Jesus does for us. Substitute those things for ‘daily bread.’]
Verse 12: And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Father: “Debts are often referred to as sins. It is important to understand that Jesus is teaching us to not be hypocrites. For example, think of the hypocrites in the story of the harlot who was going to be stoned (John 8). Can you tell me how this verse is teaching us to avoid hypocrisy?”
Child [may require some prompting, but answers should be along these lines]: “Because God forgives us our sins. For us to refuse to forgive those who sin against us is to behave hypocritically.”
Father: “Right. There is also another way to look at this verse: it compares action with a promise. God has promised to forgive us, and we should take action to make sure we do the same for others. There are many other promises God has given us. Can you think of some?”
Child [various possible answers; child may need prompting]: “God promises to help us.”
Father: “Yes, He does! So you could substitute ‘help’ here for ‘forgive us our debts’ and ‘as we also have forgiven our debtors.’ How would that go?”
Child: “And help us, as we have helped others.”
Father: “So this would be praying for help, but also it would be reminding us of something that we should do. What is this other thing we should remember to do?”
Child: “We should help others.”
Father: “What else could we substitute here? What other promises has God made us?”
Child [answers will vary, but here is one possible answer]: “God promises to bless us.”
Father: “Yes! So you could also substitute ‘bless’ in this verse. How would that go?”
Child: “And bless us, as we have blessed others.”
Father: “Good! Do you see how we can substitute other elements here in order to pray for our very specific needs?”
Child: “Yes.”
Father: “As you pray, you might also be able to refer to some of the Bible stories you know in which God keeps His promises. For example, if you want to pray for help, you might include a reference to David and Goliath or Daniel in the lion’s den. Can you think of a Bible story you could refer to if you were praying for blessings?”
Child [answers will vary, but may include]: “I could include a reference to Abraham or King Solomon.”
Father: “Yes! Good.”
Verse 13: And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Father: “What does this verse say?”
Child: “This verse asks God to keep us from doing evil.”
Father: “There are many ways in which we can do evil, aren’t there? For example, we can be tempted to lie, cheat, or steal. We have many different temptations against which we struggle. This is a place in the prayer where you can substitute a specific temptation that may be hard for you to overcome, like arguing with your siblings or talking back to your mother. What do you think you could substitute here?”
Child [answers will vary]: “I could pray that God would help me to obey.”
Father: “How would that sound?”
Child: “And lead us not into disobedience, but deliver us from the evil one.”
When prayer is looked at in this way, it can be seen that we may copy and paste this model as a basic prayer template, and work through some prayer themes with our children:
Father: “What are you praying about?”
Child: “I would like to pray about _____________.”
Father: “Well, let’s look at the prayer and substitute in the needs that you have.”
Matthew 6:9-15:
9 “This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven,
______ be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
________ as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our ________.
12 And ______ us our ______,
as ______________________.
13 And lead us not into ______,
but deliver us from the evil one.’
In conclusion, this method will give children a great deal of practice praying according to the model taught us by Jesus himself. Using classical methods, and teaching important classical skills—such as following a formal structure while answering and asking questions, and practicing this regularly—we can teach our children to do many things very well, from sports to music to reading and mathematics. In just the same way, using classical methods, we can teach our children to pray as our Lord taught His disciples to pray, and we can teach them to pray well.
